Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
- To improve his bite.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
- Frostbite.
Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
- Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
- With scare spray.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
- No, they eat the fingers separately.
Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
- Because they don't have any body to go out with.
What is a vampire's favorite sport?
- Casketball.
What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
- Shrinkenstein.
What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
- A cereal killer.
What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
- Dead ends.
What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
- Bloodhounds.
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
- A stake sandwich.
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
- A trombone.
What do birds give out on Halloween night?
- Tweets.
Why do vampires need mouthwash?
- They have bat breath.
Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
- He heard it had great circulation.
Why don't mummies go on vacation?
- They are afraid that they might relax and unwind.
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