Thursday, May 31, 2007

It's never too late for good words

WASHINGTON (NNS) --
That from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion.
These iconic words delivered by President Abraham Lincoln at Gettysburg embody the true meaning of Memorial Day: to honor those who made the ultimate sacrifice in defense of freedom.

Each member of the Armed Forces swears an oath to support and defend the Constitution. The unspoken part of that oath is the willingness to lay down one's life to protect our liberties. Our freedom is not free, and the sacrifices of service men and women throughout history stand as constant, powerful reminders of the price. President Lincoln said,
to truly honor these heroes, we must steadfastly resolve to continue their noble fight against all who would threaten our way of life.
On behalf of the Joint Chiefs and the men and women of the armed forces, I join all Americans in paying tribute to those who gave their lives in service to our country. We are eternally grateful for their selfless sacrifice, and honored to carry on their precious legacy. - Marine Gen. Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff 2006May25 [tftd: Please note - General Pace didn't mention sales and picnics as the 'true meaning of Memorial Day']

Friday, May 25, 2007

Can you top this?

Where I work, local jokers have taken to putting name tags on unused cubes. We have:
  • M T Cube
  • Phil De Cube
  • Eubie D'Mann
  • Nu M Plo-Yee
Got any more?

Reply below.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

thoughts for the day

Don't Write On Walls!

(and underneath)

You want I should type?

- Fortune's graffito of the week (or maybe even month) q.galvin



PARENT - Job Description

POSITION:

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma

Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment.

Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts on call.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities!

Travel expenses not reimbursed.

Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life.

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets, and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars, and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute and an embarrassment the next.

Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap plastic toys and battery-operated devices.

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

If you are lucky, you may be promoted to the position of Grandparent. Of course, you must still retain and fulfill all the responsibilities of Parent while assuming the new title and job responsibilities of Grandparent.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them!

Offering frequent raises and bonuses.

A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.

When you die, you give them whatever is left.

The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays, and no stock options are offered, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

- Laurie Johnson

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

when technology interesects w/gummit

Take this link to one of the US House of Representatives pages.

Then take the link labeled Historical Documents.

Did you see a page go by rather quickly where the US House disavoys to the contents of where they are linking -- the US Archives? Or are they just disavoying the Constitution, et al?

thoughts for the day

Jimmy Carter calling George Bush the worst president ever is like Paula Abdul saying Sanjaya can't sing. - ajctheVent 2007May23

Q: What is the oldest programming language?

A: The First Amendment to the US Constitution ratified 1791Dec15 states:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.


Old mathematicians never die, they just - q. IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
  1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
  2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Nash q.Kandy q.galvin

Groan warning

King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Crosus, the pawnbroker, to get a loan. Crosus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."

"But I paid a million dinars for it," the king protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"

Crosus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are." - Cathy Gilstrap q.gcfl

LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT

In 1926, a wealthy Toronto lawyer named Charles Vance Millar died, leaving behind him a will that amused and electrified the citizens of his Canadian province. Millar, a bachelor with a wicked sense of humor, stated clearly that he intended his last will and testament to be an "uncommon and capricious" document. Because he had no close heirs to inherit his fortune, he divided his money and properties in a way that amused him and aggravated his newly chosen heirs. Here are just a few examples of his strange bequests:

He left shares in the Ontario Jockey Club to two prominent men who were well known for their opposition to racetrack betting.

He bequeathed shares in the O'Keefe Brewery Company (a Catholic beer manufacturer) to every Protestant minister in Toronto.

But his most famous bequest was that he would leave his fortune to the Toronto woman who gave birth to the most children in the ten years after his death.

This last clause in his will caught the public fancy -- concerning the woman who produced the most children over a ten-year period. The country was entering the Great Depression. As people struggled to meet even their most basic economic responsibilities, the prospect of an enormous windfall was naturally quite alluring. Newspaper reporters scoured the public records to find likely contenders for what became known as The Great Stork Derby. Nationwide excitement over the Stork Derby built quickly.

In 1936, four mothers proud producers of nine children apiece in a ten year time span divided up the Millar fortune, each receiving what was a staggering sum in those days, $125,000. Charles Millar caused much mischief with his will. This was his final legacy to humanity. - eSermons.com

In sharp contrast to that, Jesus Christ had a will and a testament that brought, not mischief, but life to many. What he offers in his will is more valuable that the hundreds of thousands of dollars that Charles Millar left behind. And what is most wonderful is that the blessings he offers are not available only to a handful of people, but to everyone who is willing to follow the conditions set forth in that will.

"For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance -- now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant. In the case of a will, it is necessary to prove the death of the one who made it, because a will is in force only when somebody has died; it never takes effect while the one who made it is living." (Heb 9:15-17 NIV)

Christ has died, but that death now makes it possible for the conditions of the will to be executed. - Alan Smith

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Requiescat in pace

A native of Poland, Anna Radosz moved to Scotland to be with her boyfriend after graduating from college with a degree in agricultural science. Shortly before that, a mole on her arm was diagnosed as skin cancer -- malignant melanoma. It was removed, and she went on her way. But in Scotland, she discovered the melanoma had spread. Doctors in Aberdeen told her aggressive chemotherapy was needed for the aggressive cancer. But by this time Radosz was pregnant, and she refused the treatment to save her baby. Doctors warned her that conventional treatment gave her only a 10 percent chance of survival, but she was adamant. Radosz gave birth to a healthy baby boy in November, but the cancer had spread into her organs, including her lungs and brain. It killed her on 2007May11 during a visit to her family in Poland, just before she was to head to the U.S. for gene therapy. She was 27.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

It's the law!

http://www.thisistrue.com/cassinghams_laws.html

letter from Baghdad

Sorry I don't write as I once did. No news is good news right. I received the following in an e-mail from a friend and wanted to share it. Enjoy.

Sometimes life delivers something we always longed for but didn't even know it. It doesn't happen (as best I can tell) nearly often enough, and usually the matter in question is minor, but I can report that this week I learned what a mondegreen is, and I'm a happier man for it.

Can there be someone reading this who has not had the experience of mishearing the lyrics of a song - often for years, warbling the mangled version on various highways and in diverse showers - only to subsequently discover their mistake, with amusement or chagrin, depending on their personality type? Join me in celebrating. There is a word for it.

The history is appealing. One of the better known of the old Scottish ballads, The Bonny Earl of Murray contains the following refrain:

They have slain the Earl of Murray
And laid him on the green.
It seems that Sylvia Wright, the columnist, spent a substantial part of her childhood hearing this as,
They have slain the Earl of Murray
And the Lady Mondegreen.
One can only sympathize, shake one's head, ponder the fate of that aristocratic lady murdered far too young. And then applaud Ms Wright's turning her shock on discovering the truth to great honour by coining the word, offering an invaluable service to all of us. We need people like this, and most certainly words like this. The Germans may have schadenfreude, the French may suavely glory in esprit d'escalier, but English has mondegreens.

And so many examples of them. Those who have spent innumerable hours, nay years, researching the matter (including Jon Carroll of the San Francisco Chronicle) appear collectively confident that the most commonly invoked mondegreen is the heartfelt salute to

Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
. Lingering in the realm of the spiritual, there looms the large figure of
Round John Virgin
, most often encountered at Christmas time. A research site on the web which calls itself Mondegreens Ripped My Flesh reports (touchingly) that Simon and Garfunkel were thought to have sung,
Partially saved was Mary and Tom
, and of course a remarkable number of people heard the late Jimi Hendrix sing,
Excuse me while I kiss this guy
. Hendrix always thought he wrote,
while I kiss the sky
but any good poststructuralist will affirm that the author's intention is of only marginal significance in these (and other) matters. We know what we know, we heard what we heard. Who can forget the Spanish ballad, One Ton Tomato, an early warning about genetically altered food, or the country-and-western beauty tip, Doughnuts Make Your Brown Eyes Blue?

In the spirit of sharing and confessional induced by these revelations and Ms Wright's courageous example, I am now prepared to stand up and offer my own Testimony. In a different, less correct age, not so long ago, I was frequently enlisted to sing with classmates that resonant paean to British triumph over the French in Canada, The Maple Leaf Forever. The first stanza, as all those of a certain age will recall, ends with the words,

The thistle, shamrock, rose entwined,
The Maple Leaf forever.
Well into my second decade of wandering amidst the flowers and mondegreens of this wide world, I fear that I enthusiastically sang out, proud among my peers,
The Thistle Shamrock rose and cried: The maple leaf forever!
The inner vision of that faithful Thistle Shamrock loyally leaping up to salute its gallant leader among the plants and leaves is with me still.

But now I have a name for it. Along with a new, poignant image of a Scottish lady slain before her time. I grieve for the Lady Mondegreen, but life is a little richer this week. - © Guy Gavriel Kay

Friday, May 11, 2007

michaelangelo he's not!

http://members.ozemail.com.au/~oscarptyltd/twowheelcar.html

Thoughts for the day

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. - Steven Wright (1955-) q.galvin

===

A rabbi is walking slowly down the street when a gust of wind blows his hat from his head. The hat is being blown down the street, but he is an old man, using a cane, and he can't walk fast enough to catch the hat. Across the street a young man sees what has happened and rushes over to grab the hat and returns it to the rabbi.

"I don't think I would have been able to catch my hat," says the rabbi. "Thank you very much." The rabbi then places his hand on the man's shoulder and says, "May God bless you."

The young man thinks to himself, "I've been blessed by the rabbi. This must be my lucky day!" So he goes to the racetrack, and in the first race he sees there is a horse named Stetson at 20 to 1. He bets $50, and sure enough, the horse comes in first.

In the second race he sees a horse named Fedora at 30 to 1, so he bets it all and this horse comes in first also. Finally, at the end of the day, he returns home to his wife. When she asks him where he's been, he explains how he caught the rabbi's hat and was blessed by him and then went to the track and started winning on horses that had a hat in their names.

"So where's the money?" she asks.

"I lost it all in the ninth race. I bet on a horse named Chateau and it lost."

"You fool, Chateau is a house; Chapeau is a hat!"

"It doesn't matter," he said. "The winner was some Japanese horse named Yarmulke."

- Thomas S. Ellsworth q.The Good, Clean Funnies List

===

A TRUSTWORTHY GOD

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial. It went like this:

Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q: Officer, who provided this description?
A: The officer who responded to the scene.

Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A: Yes sir, with my life.

Q: WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this, then, officer -- do you have a locker room in the police station -- a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A: Yes sir, we do.

Q: And do you have a locker in that room?
A: Yes sir, I do.

Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?
A: Yes sir.

Q: Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers?
A: You see, sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room.

Sometimes it's best not to pursue a particular line of questioning!

But it's true that there are some people we can't trust at all and there are others we can trust with our very lives. Our level of trust is based upon how someone has proven themselves to be faithful in the past. As you probably know from personal experience, it takes months and years to establish a high level of trust, but only a moment to destroy it. Because people do let us down, we are sometimes made to feel that there is no one we can trust. But fortunately, there is someone.

"Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing. Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God, the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them -- the LORD, who remains faithful forever." (Ps 146:3-6 NIV)

Father, thank you for being faithful, for proving over and over that you are indeed a God we can trust with our very lives. While there are others who have let us down, you never have. For that we praise you! May our trust in you be reflected in our willingness to allow you to guide us this day. In Jesus' name, amen.

- Alan Smith

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Can you spell anger management?

Delta Employee Suspended After Altercation with Passenger

How to succeed by redefining success

A Sunday school teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible: Ps 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task, but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Ps 23 in front of the congregation, Rickey was very nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know." - Mary Rayner

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

This may be the school where my granddaughter Libby goes

Realignment of military bases to impact New York Catholic schools

recycling beer - no not what you're thinking

They have their priorities straight down under (the globe not the table)

updating an old story

There's gonna be a lot of this in the next 18 mos.

Formerly:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

Now:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."


Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake. Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of green insects and call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.


Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case. The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote

Friday, May 4, 2007

A prayer for those less fortunate

Father, I have a problem,
It's weighing heavy on me.
It's all I can think about,
night and day.

Before I bring it to you in prayer.
I suppose I should pray for those
who are less fortunate than me--

Those in this world who have
hardly enough food for this day,
and for those who don't have
a roof over their heads at night.

I also pray for families
who have lost loved ones
in sudden death,
for parents whose children
have leukemia,
for the many people who are
dying of brain tumors,
for the hundreds of thousands
who are laid waste with
other terrible cancers,
for people whose bodies
have been suddenly
shattered in car wrecks,
for those who are lying
in the hospital with agonizing
burns over their bodies,
whose faces have been
burned beyond recognition.

I pray for people with emphysema,
whose eyes fill with terror
as they struggle for every
breath merely to live,
for those who are tormented
beyond words by irrational fears,
for the elderly who are wracked
with the pains of aging,
whose only "escape" is death.

I pray for people who are watching
their loved ones fade before their eyes
through the grief of Alzheimer's disease,
for the many thousands
who are suffering
the agony of AIDS,
for those who are in such despair
they are about to commit suicide,
for people who are tormented
by the demons of
alcoholism and drug addiction.

I pray for children
who have been abandoned
by their parents,
for those who are sexually abused,
for wives held in quiet despair,
beaten and abused by
cruel and drunken husbands,
for people whose minds
have been destroyed
by mental disorders,
for those who have lost everything
in floods, tornadoes,
hurricanes, and earthquakes.

I pray for the blind,
who never see the faces
of the ones they love,
or the beauty of a sunrise,
for those whose bodies are
horribly deformed by painful arthritis,
for the many whose lives
will be taken from them today
by murderers,
for those wasting away
on their death beds.

Most of all,
I cry out for the millions
who don't know the forgiveness
that is in Jesus Christ...
for those who in a moment of time
will be swept into Hell
by the cold hand of death,
and find to their utter
horror the unspeakable
vengeance of eternal fire.
They will be eternally damned
to everlasting punishment.

Oh God, I pray for them.

Strange ...

I can't seem to remember
what my problem was ...

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

- Ray Comfort

"Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men." (1Tim 2:1)

Intercession means to go to God in prayer on behalf of someone else. What a blessing to know that not only do Jesus Christ (Heb 7:25) and the Holy Spirit (Rom 8:26-27) intercede on our behalf, but we also have the privilege of being able to intercede for one another.

Why not take a moment to pray for others you know who are in need this day.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Thoughts for the day

  • What was on Hannibal's mind as he drove his elephants over the Alps? Looking good, apparently, because on Hannibal's head was a wig, which he wore into battle to cover his lack of locks. Julius Caesar used his chaplet for the same purpose, the comb-over having not yet been discovered. - Jack Reed _Men Want to Look Good, Too_ St. Petersburg Times (FL); 2001Jan 28 q.AWAD 18, 2007 http://wordsmith.org/words/chaplet.html q.tftd-l


  • A clergyman, walking down a country lane, saw a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. "You look tired, my son," said the cleric. "Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."

    "No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't approve."

    "Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water." Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience just a little, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"

    "Well," replied the young farmer, "you can tell him whatever you like just as soon as I get this hay off him." - Pastor Tim q.The Good, Clean Funnies List

Another reason to love Delaware

tweeter: this is from K whose wedding y'all attended here.

Check this out. This occurred literally right in front of my office building. If you watch the video, you will see the C complex where I work. Who ever thought Delaware was such a dangerous place?

http://www.myfoxphilly.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail?contentId=3087826&version=6&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1

They locked our building down all morning. Just sent an email about an hour ago allowing people to leave for lunch (with a strict reminder that talking to the media is against company policy). They were searching for a possible suspect. Man, am I glad I am working from home today!

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

The Six Stupid methodology revisited

Six Stupid process controls

To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time. - Leonard Bernstein

Last week's column introduced a new process design technique -- the Six Stupid methodology. Six Stupid is based on the well known phenomenon that a group of people is dumber than its stupidest member.

In contrast to Six Sigma, which reduces variance to six standard deviations from the mean, Six Stupid designs processes based on what one person can put on one PowerPoint slide and persuade the other five team members will work really, really well.

One correspondent, reading the column, suggested I trademark the name, reserve www.sixstupid.com, and charge big bucks for seminars. Hey, if you're willing to pay ...

Another, more serious-minded than the first, pointed out that in both of the situations I described (a furniture order that could only be routed from Shipping to Restocking by way of my Manhattan apartment, and an air travel experience that nearly forced me to fly from New York to Florida by way of a blizzard zone), the companies had out-of-control processes.

True enough. My guess, though, is that they were out of control by design, in that nobody ever thought to build controls into them. And in the absence of good process controls, the only control left is the process itself -- following the steps, which guarantees frequent horrible outcomes.

Business processes have six possible goals -- perhaps "points of optimization" would be a better way to say it. They are: Reducing overhead costs, reducing unit costs, improving throughput, decreasing cycle time, adding excellence (the ability to adapt to unexpected circumstances, add nifty product features and otherwise do cool stuff), and increasing quality (reducing the number of out-of-specification outputs).

A good process control is nothing more than one of these goals, expressed as a number instead of a sentence. Putting process controls in place lets every participant know which goals to pay attention to, and, as a consequence, that it's the goals, not the steps, that matter most.

Six Stupid process designers don't start by establishing the process goals. Instead, everyone on the design team operates from a different set of assumptions about what they're trying to achieve. But that isn't important, because all will agree their goal is to "do what makes sense." That's clear, isn't it?

And so the design team toils away, eventually agreeing to a series of steps everyone is supposed to follow. Proud of their efforts they publish the flow chart and disband, leaving it to whoever supervises the workgroup to implement it. And since the process has no stated goal, the supervisor has little choice. The team's instructions: Follow the steps, regardless of the consequences.

That's how bureaucracy happens. What's particularly sad is that when most of us deal with a bureaucracy, we blame the bureaucrats. But it isn't their fault. They've been given clear instructions -- just follow the steps, fill out the forms, dot the i's and cross the t's.

Compare this to a process that follows a more rational methodology than Six Stupid. The first step is to define inputs and outputs (and perhaps resources and constraints as well). The next is to decide on the goals. After that, the designers will ask the musical question, "How will anyone know if we're heading in the right direction?"

That's where metrics come from, or are supposed to come from at least. If the top process priority is throughput, the process will include information outputs that allow the process manager to measure it. If the second priority is unit cost, cost information will come out of the process as well.

Much more important than the metrics themselves is how they allow everyone to deal with the process when it's in production. Compare the production employees in two rival companies.

Those in the first learn how the process works and the details of their individual responsibilities. Those in the second get more training. They're told what the company is trying to achieve. "We're trying to maximize throughput and minimize errors while keeping costs to an acceptable level."

Even more important, they're encouraged to think: "If something comes up where the process doesn't fit the situation, figure out what will take care of things, do it, and then let your supervisor know about it."

Which contrasts the difference between Six Stupid and intelligent forms of process design. Assemble six stupid people and they'll figure they're the only ones smart enough to figure out solutions. Put six smart people together and they'll reach a very different conclusion. They'll figure they can't possibly be smart enough to anticipate everything that might happen.

They'll also figure that when whatever it is does happen, grown adults can probably figure out reasonable ways to handle the situation ... if they're encouraged to do so.


part 1



Bob Lewis is president of IT Catalysts, Inc. (www.itcatalysts.com) an independent consultancy specializing in IT effectiveness and strategic alignment. Contact him at rdlewis@issurvivor.com.

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