call center logs

Page down please! Blog software inserting whitespace! And ignoring requested formating! Sigh!!!

Customer	I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?
Operator	Where did you get that number, sir?
Customer	It's on the door of your business.
Operator	Sir, those are the hours that we are open.
* * *
Samsung Electronics
Caller	Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?
Operator	I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.
Caller	On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?
Operator	I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.
* * *
RAC Motoring Services
Caller	Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?
Operator	Does the product name give you a clue?
* * *
Caller (inquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)	If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?
* * *
Directory Enquiries
Caller	I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please
Operator	I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?
Caller	Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.
~ ~ ~
Caller	. . . a knitwear company in Woven?
Operator	Woven? Are you sure?
Caller	Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland.
* * *
Male caller making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box	I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.
* * *
Tech Support	I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.
Customer	OK.
Tech Support	Did you get a pop-up menu?
Customer	No.
Tech Support	OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?
Customer	No.
Tech Support	OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?
Customer	Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.
* * *
Tech Support	OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?
Customer	Wow! How can you see my screen from there?
* * *
Caller	I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?
* * *
This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.' Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!) For an opposing opinion.
Operator	Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?
Caller	Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.
Operator	What sort of trouble??
Caller	Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.
Operator	Went away?
Caller	They disappeared.
Operator	Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?
Caller	Nothing.
Operator	Nothing??
Caller	It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.
Operator	Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??
Caller	How do I tell?
Operator	Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??
Caller	What's a sea-prompt?
Operator	Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?
Caller	There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.
Operator	Does your monitor have a power indicator??
Caller	What's a monitor?
Operator	It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??
Caller	I don't know.
Operator	Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??
Caller	Yes, I think so.
Operator	Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller	Yes, it is.
Operator	When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??
Caller	No.
Operator	Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.
Caller	OK, here it is.
Operator	Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.
Caller	I can't reach.
Operator	OK. Well, can you see if it is??
Caller	No.
Operator	Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??
Caller	Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.
Operator	Dark??
Caller	Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator	Well, turn on the office light then.
Caller	I can't.
Operator	No? Why not??
Caller	Because there's a power failure.
Operator	A power ... A power failure? Aha. OK, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??
Caller	Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.
Operator	Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.
Caller	Really? Is it that bad?
Operator	Yes, I'm afraid it is.
Caller	Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??
Operator	Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!